A Journey from Means to Marriage.
[This is first article in series of "A Journey from Means to Marriage." More coming soon]
You have a good job, a fat pay package and you are in the US of A, seems like life is settled, what else you can ask for; a reliable, fuel efficient Car, is not it?? Well, if this is what you are looking for, then I am afraid, this is not the right place to look for.
It is very rightly said that “Matches Are Made In Heaven” and to solemnize this match “Marriages Are Made on Earth”. If this is the case then what is left for you, well finding out this person, your best friend, your life partner and your better half. So how to go about, what to look for, how to look , even if you see somewhere how do you recognize, whether you would get a signal from heaven, any thunder storm would occur, any lightning? What exactly happens when you get the signal, bell rings, heart pounds, rain showers? Actually everything happens, but only in movies not in real life. In real life, as you know, things are slightly different but still manageable.
Seems challenging is not it? Especially when you get only 2 weeks off, within that you have to see, select and marry. Well actually it is, unless a major portion of the process is already in progress. So if you can, then plan it a bit ahead about everything, booking the reception hall, selecting the invitation card, finalizing the guest list, the food menu and not to mention, the list of pleasantries you are going to exchange with the person who is made for you, as this is the essence of the story. So, let’s begin.
Look at the mirror and make up your MIND: -
Who are you, what you like, what you dislike, what your limitations are, what are your priorities, your commitments, do you have a goal, what you want to become and how you want to become.
Make sure you have already made up your mind for marriage and also have certain fair expectations set, from your future better half. Not all the time we feel that we are ready, to take this crucial decision. If this is the case, then first take advice from your friends and relatives. I prefer you take advice from people who are recently married or going to get married soon. If the person is your relative and is from your age group, then give weightage to her/his suggestions. The reason behind this reference is very simple; a person who is recently married would give only positive inputs. And a friendly relative of your age, of course, would try to understand your situation first. This would help in coming to a decision whether to get married now or wait for some more time.
Who can be your Perfect Spouse:-
When it comes to marriage, setting right expectations helps in various ways in the long run but having inappropriate expectations, which sometimes are very exciting, tempting and are attractive too, would end up in a big mess. For example, most of us want a good looking face, 9 out of 10 says their "would be" has to be beautiful or handsome. And this demand is fair, but let me ask a few questions here, how many of your good friends are good looking and how many of them you are going to discard later in life just because they are ugly. Did you make friendship with them based on their face value or did you like something else about them? Asking these questions would let you know how much weightage you should give to each of your expectations and how important they are in selecting your perfect friend.
The formula of getting success in finding and recognizing your "perfect half" is to know yourself first, have an honest judgment about yourself. Knowing yourself does not mean you get spiritual or wander around everywhere asking others about yourself, this would look a bit less cerebral. Just observe yourself for sometime, while talking to others, while eating, while buying something, going for a movie, doing a task, helping others, watching TV, movie, reading etc. This simple experiment would give enough of insight about your true self.
Just question yourself, can your perfect spouse be also your perfect friend, if you get an answer “YES”, you hit the Bull’s-Eye.
Do you like the person?
When it comes to choose someone from our opposite gender, most of the time, the decision seems to be right just because the person in attractive, good looking. In this case, ask yourself how you feel spending 24 hours with him/her.
1. Would you still love the person, if she/he looses their charm?
2. When you are at loss, will the other person support you?
3. Do you both have any goals and are they common?
4. How much compromise you both can make on your Egos’?
Of course this is not the comprehensive list of things you are going to ask, but these few questions would give you a fair idea whether you going in the right direction to your meet your friend for life.
[This is first article in series of "A Journey from Means to Marriage." More coming soon]